JAYAN

Catching Up!!!!!

2011-05-09T13:29:00.000-07:00

It's been very busy in our house. Jay is doing very well in his new school. He has more and more to say every day. Some days he just cracks us up. I need to do a true blog update but for now here are some pictures of the Jaybird.

Having an afternoon snack after playing in the snow in Tahoe

I don't know what this look is but it made me laugh :)

Daddy and Jay at dinner

Mama and Jay

Valentine's Day

Bananas in Big Bear

Hanging out with the boys

Our Miracle Is Three Years Old Today!!!!!!

2010-12-07T09:32:00.000-08:00

And just like that our beautiful baby boy is three. An official toddler. This morning Joe and I dropped Jay off at his new preschool near our house where he will be going until Kindergarten. I was so worried about how he would do. He had his brand new little Elmo back pack all ready to go. And when we got there it was a quick goodbye and off he went with the two teacher's aides to his new classroom. Walking in the middle, holding both of their hands. I absorbed the moment for a minute, and then the tears started pouring. Poor Joe thought that he was going to have to deal with Jay crying, but it was me he was left comforting :)

I always get emotional around Jay's birthday. Thinking back to this day three years ago and how afraid I was, my beautiful son being born so very early.
Jayan... Daddy and Mama love you so very much. Thank you for making our lives complete. We are having such a wonderful time watching you grow, explore, talk, and just be a regular toddler. We thank God everyday for you being here in our lives. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SON!!!!!!

Halloween 2010

2010-11-04T10:24:00.000-07:00

I'm still questioning whether this kid is Joe's and mine. He really doesn't seem to like chocolates and candy yet. How can that be?? His parents have already put a nice dent into his Halloween loot. :)

I decided to surprise our family this year and show up on their doorsteps with my little Elmo. Joe stayed back to give out candy to the kids in our neighborhood.

Elmo in the car

At Aunty Dharshi and Uncle Yoga's house (note the paparazzi standing at the door)

And then we went to visit Yaso Pati

And finally we went to see Grandpa Louis

When we got back Joe took Jay to our neighbor's house.

And we thought he was actually going to eat a piece of candy but he took a bite and dumped the rest on the ground. Don't worry it wasn't wasted. Joe and I ate it! :) Next year Joe says he's dressing up as a French maid. :) Stay tuned!!

Weddings, Anniversaries, and Friendship

2010-10-15T12:02:00.000-07:00

One of my dearest friends from college got married this last weekend. They have a wonderful anniversary date 10-10-10! I was proud to stand by her side as her maid of honor. I don't think we could have asked for a more beautiful day to have a wedding. The day before was Joe's bday so we enjoyed being in San Diego, the rehearsal, and wedding festivities. Yvette and Sean we wish you many years of love and happiness! May you always be each other's best friend.

Yesterday was our Anniversary. Y We honestly had no real plans, as we just had a weekend to ourselves without Jay (special thanks to my Dad and Laurina for helping us with Jay from Sat-Mon we are so grateful!!!) My bestie Kristen offered to make dinner for us. We had a lovely evening, delicious food thank you Mr. and Mrs. Osterman, it was honestly a perfect anniversary.

So today I felt the need to blog about my wonderful friends. I don't know how or why I got so lucky, but for a girl with no brothers or sisters I got blessed with some amazing people by my side. When I sit down and actually think about it I get overwhelmed with emotion.

Jay is doing very well in his toddler class. Not surprisingly, his favorite time is music time. He loves songs. His words are increasing. He even tries to say "see you later". He's also still doing really well in his "new bed". Although we've caught him fooling around up there when he's supposed to be sleeping. Therapy is being upped to 12 hours a week! So he will have something for 2.5 hours every afternoon Monday-Friday. This is in preparation for him to go to the school district when he turns three. You make us so proud baby boy. I looked through some pictures and video from the NICU the other day. I'm still amazed at what a fighter you are and how much you overcame. You are and forever will be our Miracle.

And to my husband, my best friend of all, who brought me to tears yesterday with what he wrote in my card. I love you. Thank you for riding this rollercoaster with me. For putting up with my quirks. For watching me wear wings and rainboots and not laughing too hard. For dealing with hormones and moodswings. And for loving me unconditionally.

My College Besties

Joe and I at the Wedding

Our Anniversary Cake from Kristen and Rick

The Schmetzer's and The Osterman's

And another sleeping shot of my baby boy :)

The Crib Conversion

2010-10-07T12:06:00.001-07:00

The little monkey learned how to crawl out of his crib last week. So this last weekend Joe worked on converting the crib. He basically took one side off making it more like a day bed.
So far the transition is going very well. I was very nervous about this I wasn't prepared to take Jay out of a crib type setting until well after his 3rd birthday. But as I'm learning you can't plan everything :)

The above pic is Jay taking his afternoon nap on Sunday. We have pillows below him but so far to our knowledge he's been just fine.

Labor Day Weekend 2010

2010-09-07T10:17:00.000-07:00

This weekend we packed up the car and headed to Tehachapi, CA. It's a place in the Mojave desert that I found when I was living in Lancaster. It's up in the mountains away from everyone. But still a little city with all the conveniences like restaurants and hotels. (Starbucks for Joe) I love getting out and being one with nature but at night I like to be in a comfy bed. I dread the day Jay will want to camp in a tent.

Jay was a trooper on the hike. We started him off in the hiking back pack but he really wanted to walk it himself. So we only used it for the steeper parts. And we also took advantage of the winds and did a little kite flying. It was so nice to be out in the fresh air, you couldn't hear any noise other than the trees blowing in the wind, and the skies could not have been any prettier.

All in all it was a really wonderful weekend and a great way to end the summer. Today Jay moved up in class at the Preschool. He will now be with the bigger kids, sitting at tables to eat (not high chairs) and taking naps in beds (not cribs) I'm sure this is going to take some time to adjust for him, and the director of the school will help facilitate this transition for us. Today I also have a meeting at a preschool that is part of the IUSD (Irvine Unified School District) because on Jay's 3rd birthday (December 7th) he will start the Preschool program with the school district to prepare him for Kindergarten. It will be a big change for our little guy but all steps forward.

We also got Jay a big boy table and chair set from IKEA for him. So far he really likes it.

More Summer Fun

2010-08-20T09:07:00.000-07:00

Once again, I don't know where this year is going. It's true what they say, the older you get the faster the years go by. And I find myself wanting to treasure this bit of time while my little boy is still young and innocent. I know before I know it he will be grown and independent. Not needing mommy and daddy.

If I haven't mentioned it before I'll mention it now... Having Dora the Explorer and Elmo episodes on my iPhone has made eating out a much better experience for all of us. On Monday night we went out to dinner with my family and it was one of the best meals Joe and I have had with Jay as a toddler. *knocks on wood*
My Dad, the man who refused to let me have a TV in my room growing up immediately went out and bought his two and a half year old grandchild a portable DVD player. Why? Because he doesn't want him straining his eyes on the iPhone when we're out and about.

Jay's speech has really come around. He tries to let us know what he wants "juice" "crackers" etc etc. He still gets frustrated but we are working on it day by day. He is a very curious child and loves to see how things work. When I pick him up from preschool every afternoon he comes running up to me saying "Mama" and I would be lying if I told you this didn't put the warmest feeling in my heart on a daily basis.

The love affair between my husband and child is a whole different story. With Daddy it's all about play time and fun. And going into this I always knew I would be the stricter one. Jay's face lights up when Daddy comes home. But no one, not even Daddy can get in the way of Dora.

With Jay being a little older now it's been easier for me to get out more and I have really been enjoying that. This has been a full summer and I have truly enjoyed spending time with my friends once again.

Cooookie

Emily is my friend Sharon's daughter. She is one of my oldest friends from college. We met in the dorms at 18 and I find it crazy that 18 years later we have these two.

And these two going in for a kiss Y

My wonderful husband gave me a whole Saturday off from mommy duty so I could go to Del Mar with my friends for our yearly trip.

And I had another special evening out with the girls to celebrate my friend Claire's birthday. We went to a wonderful restaurant called Vine in San Clemente. It was truly a night filled with laughter. Much needed by a bunch of moms.

Summer Is Officially Here!!

2010-07-16T09:07:00.000-07:00

As far as I am concerned we as Southern Californians have been pretty lucky this year with a late summer. I was running my space heater at work just last week. But this week, it's plain HOT. This makes me happy for one reason. I don't have to worry about the water in the pool being too cold for Jay!

Yesterday I took him to the pool for the first time on my own without Joe. We did pretty good just hanging out in the kiddie pool. We were joined by a few others. It was quite a nice day to be outside enjoying the sun.

You can't really tell but he's saying "pooooooool".

We had some friends over for the 4th of July. It's become a bit of a tradition for us because we can view the fireworks from Heritage Park (Irvine High) right from the street by the side of our house. It's always a wonderful evening and even better to be joined by the best of friends.

Enjoying his third year of festivities.
Being silly with Daddy
College Besties
Mrs. Anguis making sure Mr. Anguis doesn't cheat at Taboo
The always competitive Mr. Schmetzer. We were playing guys against girls and they just couldn't take losing to us. :)
And it just wouldn't be the 4th of July in our house w/o Guitar Hero! Sean and Big Jay.

The biggest change in our house is Jay's effort to repeat words we ask him to say. He may not always say it perfect but he's trying. And it's wonderful!! The other day I was cleaning and I heard the fridge door open. I automatically ran over getting ready to scold a certain two and a half year old, but I found him sitting on the kitchen floor with his crackers that he grabbed out of the fridge. So instead of squaking at me to tell me he's hungry he just solved the problem himself. :) That's my clever, independent little boy. We love him so much.

Da-ddy

2010-06-30T15:39:00.001-07:00

That's how our boy says it. And one of these days I am really going to need to get that on video so I can share it. We had a great Father's Day. My Dad was out of town so we'll have to have a belated celebration with him. But we had my inlaws over and we BBQ'd. Joe didn't have to lift a finger on his day but he was kind enough to BBQ for us because I'm useless in that department. (But I was in charge of marinating) :)

We've been spending lots of time in the pool. We're lucky enough to have two pools in our association and one of them has a baby pool that's only one and a half feet deep. This is really nice for someone Jay's age.

We are preparing for Jay's transition to IUSD (Irvine Unified School District) this will happen when he is three years old. At that time there will be some changes but we are anxious for them and think they will all be steps forward as always.

A few bath time pics!

Our Boy's Growing Up

2010-06-01T16:08:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day was wonderful and I truly felt blessed to celebrate it with my boys. We went out for a nice breakfast and enjoyed the sun outside. And we spent the evening with the Osterman's/Wilson's who were nice enough to have us all over for a delicious dinner.

My Dad was in Sri Lanka for Mother's Day so we had a belated brunch for him and Aunty Laurina on Saturday this last weekend. We headed to Newport and it was a really nice day out. Getting Jay to stay in his high chair is still a challenge for us. The boy just wants to move.

On Sunday Jay watched his third Indy 500 Race at Uncle Tom's house.
And this weekend our child discovered french fries! Normally I wouldn't be thrilled about my child eating junk food, but with all the difficulties we have had with feeding it was actually joyous to watch him shove them in his mouth one by one. :)
He knows the keys go in the door.
And he loves watching his videos on the computer. Dora and Baby Genius.

Speach Therapy and Occuaptional Therapy are going well and we truly see progress. Our next big challenge will be potty training. As parents, we don't even know where to start so this should be fun.

All Kinds of Firsts!

2010-05-07T10:49:00.000-07:00

Well we have been having quite an enjoyable spring in our house. Joe and Jay enjoy frequent adventrues to the park. I've been busy getting the flowers to bloom once again. And just all around organizing.

Last weekend we took Jay to the Santa Ana Zoo. It's a cute little zoo about 10 minutes from our house and it is very affordable. Jay is still not that facinated with the animals. But will go around collecting sticks, rocks, and leaves like crazy. :)
In the middle of the foliage where he is his happiest. I think he gets that from my Dad.

But we got on the little train that goes around the park and he was in heaven. He has never been on a train of any kind before. And although this was just a small one I think he truly enjoyed it.

I aslo got a very sweet video of him going down this slide all on his own. We're so proud!

Our other big first would have to be that we finally took Jay to the pool!! Aunty Laurina had bought his Nemo swim disk last year and we're all excited for the use it will get this summer. Jay absolutely loved being in the water.

And last but not least Jay's first Vaddai a snack from our side of the world. At his Uncle Yoga's 50th b'day bash!

Bye Bye Bottle!

2010-03-25T10:10:00.000-07:00

As of the weekend of March 13th Jay is officially off a bottle. Finding the right sippy cup was such a challenge. I have tried everything. He would get frustrated and just throw them down. Finally he was offered an apple juice box and took a small amount of juice through a straw. Over time he got better and better and then finally I found these:

They are made by Nuby and are BPA free no spill sippy cups with a straw!
So for a little over two weeks now Jayan gets his milk and juice from this and he has truly mastered it! All baby bottles have been thrown away. Hooray!!!!

And a pic of my boys at the park just because. Y

In Loving Memory of my Wonderful Uncle

2010-03-09T10:13:00.000-08:00

In loving memory of my wonderful Uncle.

AC Krishnarajah

3/7/10

The memory of you and my Grandpa sitting on the veranda at night outside my grandparent's home in Colombo is a vision ingrained into my mind forever.

You taught me to ride a bike running up and down Park Road with me. Holding on to my bike. I can hear you now "steady Anu..steady"

I'll never forget your firm grip on my arm when we'd cross a street. Whether I was 7, or even later when I was in my 20's.

My heart hurts knowing I will never see you again. But my tranquility comes from knowing you are finally in peace, free and in no more pain.

I will miss you so much.

We're claiming today as Jay's first word day!!!

2010-02-28T19:56:00.000-08:00

Although he has mimicked sounds, today Jayan pointed at Joe and said "Daddy" in the sweetest voice I have ever heard. Needless to say his Daddy was indeed beaming! Previously he's pointed to Joe's picture and said Dada but today we are sure he knew what he was saying. We are so proud. :)

It's the Little Things

2010-02-02T19:10:00.000-08:00

On Saturday Jay went for his first big boy hair cut. I had a feeling he was going to get a little squirmy in the chair and sure enough I think we had tears through the whole ordeal. But his Aunt Steph got him a gift certificate to an awesome kid's haircut place and they were very nice and patient with us. I would definitely go back there!

Although weaning Jay off his bottle isn't going as fast as we'd like today he took many sips from an apple juice box through a straw! This is huge and hopefully if this keeps up we can get him on a sippy cup!

Joe aslo told me that today Jay went down the big kid slide all by himself. This scares me a little but I know Joe's there with him. I have a feeling if I went with them to the park poor Jay would never get to do anything because I worry too much. So today I celebrate all the little milestones in our world. We may be behind in some places but when you look at the big picture my little boy has come so far. He is a true fighter and I have no doubt we'll get over these little bumps that are holding him back a bit for now. I want to thank everyone who gives us support constantly you have no idea how much it means to all three of us.

Eating Noodles

The little house at the haircut place that he really enjoyed playing in...

A little unsure about the whole haircut process

His new haircut and his official certificate! :)

Rain and Stir Crazy Children (and their parents)

2010-01-22T11:45:00.000-08:00

It has been raining in Southern California since Sunday night (it's now Friday). If it was days of drizzle that would be one thing. But this has been hard, heavy, flood your streets, thunder and lightening rain.

So needless to say at preschool, all the kids are stuck inside. At home, Jay can't take his daily sojourn with his Dad that I know he looks so forward to. This makes for a child with all kinds of energy. So we've had to get very creative. Thank God for husbands who can tire out little people indoors!!!

I don't know how people deal with rain or for that matter, snow, on a daily basis. I give you all credit and kudos. This island girl needs the SUN! If Joe wants to someday live in the mountains where it snows he better hire a person to drive me around too :)

Here's a pic of Jay doing his thing out with Dad when it's not raining. He's such the busy little fellow.

And eating crackers. I found these savory small crackers at Trader Joe's and he seems to love them. (not as much as he loves the chocolate his Pata (Grandpa) brought back from London though)

And the rainbow I saw on my way to work today. It's back to pouring outside now but it was pretty while it lasted.

Where did our baby go?

2010-01-14T11:27:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!!! And so begins another year with new beginnings. As usual we've made some resolutions per the norm. My treadmill was making weird noises and lucky me, Joe fixed it this weekend. So my excuses have run out and I'm now back on the evil machine for a minimum of 40 minutes a day. The holidays were wonderful for all of us and my bottomless pit tummy. :-

This year I really enjoyed Jay with his Christmas gifts. He had a ball unwrapping his gifts. He got lots of wonderful toys but I think his two favorites would have two be his two big Tonka trunks. One from his Uncle Dan and one from Aunty Yvette and Uncle Sean.

He may wear diapers and we may still hand feed him but we officially have a toddler in our home. Most days this is no biggie but on the occasional tantrum days when there is a meltdown because he couldn't get the lid on a toy closed, you would think the world was coming to an end.

Now I know what everyone was talking about.

Jay still gets Occupational Therapy twice a week and Speech Therapy twice a week. I think both are going really well. We are so grateful for the services we have been receiving and the fact that they are in our home is a bonus.

Eating has become a little less of a struggle. I'm not 100% satisfied but the improvement has been extremely visible. And the fact that he's hand feeding himself several items makes me very happy!

His RockStar Adidas Sweat Pants

His Christmas PJ's from Aunty Tasha

Eating Fettuccini!! He couldn't get enough!

The first pic of all of us together. 23 years in the making ;)
Jay and Emily

Who doesn't love Mr. Potato Head??

Fridge Phonics (we only took out 4 letters and we are already missing 2 of 4. *sigh*

The Miracle Turns Two!!!!

2009-12-08T10:43:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday sweet Jayan!!

Since Jay's birthday fell on a Monday we just had a small get together in the evening for cupcakes, and lots of laughter. Sometimes we are just amazed at how far we have come. Jay truly turned us into a family. And I can't even remember life before him. He is the best gift that could have ever been given to me.

Jay..Mama and Dada love you so much. Your smiles and laughter keep us going.

We Love The Fall....

2009-10-23T11:12:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's been too long since I've posted...

There is a lot to catch up on!

On August 18, 2009 our little miracle took his first independent steps. And since then he has been on the go everywhere! This new freedom has made him quite happy. And we are all so proud of Jay. This video was taken the next day. He's now zooming around like a crazy man.

Almost every evening Daddy walks around our street while Jay drives his little car. He's gotten so good at pushing that thing with his feet I'm actually nervous he's going to fly off. I definitely have a boy. He is in everything he's not supposed to be in and so curious. He's also learned how to open the cupboards despite the child proof latches. Hurricane Jay is here I tell ya!!

In September we took our annual trip to San Francisco to visit Joe's Grandparents. It was a lovely trip and we really enjoyed our time up there.

And then on October 9th, my sweet husband turned the big 4-0! So we had a surprise party for him and a wonderful night out.

Jay continues with his occupational therapy which has now been increased to two hours a week to help with the feedings. There has been great progress with his feeding but there is still a lot to work on. We are also in the middle of getting him in some kind of speech therapy. I think everything is there: he babbles, he mimics sounds, but he just needs a little help getting it all together.

Our little world changes daily but our little family has never been stronger. :)

OT Progress Report

2009-08-05T16:29:00.000-07:00

Jay had a recent progress report in occupational therapy. He's met many of his goals and they have now set up a whole new list of goals for us to work on. When you are a preemie parent you savor every little victory. No matter how futile it may seem to others. We celebrate everything in our house. :)

Our biggest struggle would probably be the weight gain and feeding. This is something I could probably spend hours writing about. God knows I bore the few people who still listen to me. But it is frustrating. Jay is definitely underweight and eating time stresses me out!

Developmentally I'm so proud of him. He has reached so many milestones and continues to surprise me daily. Last weekend Jay touched grass for the first time (yes I am extremely over protective but if you heard what they have to say in the NICU you would be too.) He loved it! He played in it, pulled it, tried to eat it, and crawled and walked in it. He aslo touched sand and Daddy put him on the curvy slide which he loved!!

And a few days ago I was upstairs putting some clothes away. Joe was downstairs on the computer and Jay was playing. I came downstairs only to hear something splashing about in the bathroom. My childs hands were in the toilet!!! The toilet paper roll was all over the floor it was truly a mess! I wasn't laughing at the time but I am laughing now. Needless to say we keep that door shut all the time now.

Daddy's Day

2009-07-01T16:43:00.000-07:00

I'm a little late posting Father's Day stuff but it's been crazy around here. I seriously don't know where the days go and here we are on the first day of July! The year is half over.

We had a wonderful Father's Day. We had Joe's family over (his Dad and brother and the nephews) Jay had a great time with his cousins and was wiped out by the end of the day. And my Dad came by and visited for a bit too.

Jay had his 18 month check up and his dreaded booster shots. Our pediatrician says Jay is doing fantasic and although he cried for about a half a minute after the shots he was all smiles once we left. We've started supplementing Jay's diet with Pediasure and in two weeks he's gained one pound. So I think this is helping already.

And the best news of the summer... Jay's doc said it was A OK for him to hit the pool this summer!!! In fact he said it will be good for his muscle strength and development. I am so looking forward to playing in the water with my little family.

Joe watching you transform into a parent has been so awesome. Sometimes I feel like my heart is going to explode when I watch you with Jay. Thank you for the sacrifices you have made for our family. I hope you had a wonderful Father's Day and felt spoiled. :) And to my Daddy thank you for everything you do for me. (even the lectures) ;) There is no one in this world like you and I feel so lucky I got to be your daughter. I would not be who I am today without you.

18 Months Old

2009-06-12T08:57:00.000-07:00

I seriously can not believe that our little boy has been in this world for 18 months. Everyone told me it would go fast and it is. I treasure every sweet preemie victory we have.

Jay never had separation anxiety. But recently, he's started crying when I leave him at the preschool. This is heartbreaking. But his teachers Ms. Dina and Ms. Dilini tell me that he gets over it very quickly. So that gives me some peace of mind. It still gives me guilt though.

At home our little monkey is all over the place! If it's in his reach expect it to come down. We had to block the XBox 360 because Jay loves to turn it off right in the middle of Daddy's online Call of Duty Game. Some people think I taught Jay to do that but I didn't :)

I had a great b'day. My Dad and Laurina watched Jay for the first time overnight. This was the first time I'd ever left him anywhere overnight without us. I honestly had no fears as my angel child sleeps peacefully through the night. And just as I thought he would, he did. We had a wonderful night out with out friends with no clock watching which was a nice change of pace for us. The next day was the Tustin Chili Cook Off. We went to this for the first time last year and it was pretty fun and kid friendly so we decided to go again. This time with Joe's brother Dan and his kids. Although we really didn't have much chili it was a great day. And Jay got to experience the Rolling Stones. (well the cover band at least) ;)

Mommy and Daddy's night out

Jay's cool sunglasses

My Heart Y

Black Friday

2009-05-22T08:45:00.000-07:00

I know this blog is mainly about our family. But this is something near and dear to my heart as anyone close to me would know. I really don't have much to say as I am truly disgusted with the Sri Lankan government. If you are reading this I hope you will take the time to pray for the 1000's and 1000's of Tamil people who have lost their lives in this ongoing war. I hope that you will pray for my people who have been displaced and now have nowhere to call home. I was there for Black Friday in July 1983 (a day I will never forget..ingrained into my brain forever)
and today another Black Friday I mourn the loss of my people with the rest of the Tamils around the world, as the Sri Lankan Government celebrates the genocide of the Tamil people.
I honor the Tigers who fought so hard for freedom and I know have not given up hope. You have given me a reason to be proud to call myself a Sri Lankan Tamil. Thank you.

“The struggle for political independence is the demand of Tamil people, ... The question whether we accept the hegemony of the Sri Lankan government has not arisen.”
Velupillai Prabhakaran- Leader and Hero

Mother's Day 2009

2009-05-12T16:30:00.001-07:00

Personally, I used to dread this day and would normally wander the malls or something only to see mothers and their kids celebrating a day I didn't have anyone to celebrate with. But my beautiful boy has given this day a whole new meaning and I can't tell you how wonderful it is.

Joe and Jay spoiled me on Mother's Day and my Dad and Laurina were nice enough to watch Jay in the evening so the Joe and I could get out on our own for a bit. Eating in a restaurant with the little man is not as easy as it used to be because if he's not eating or taking a bottle he wants to be on the go. And if you think he's going to sit still in a high chair, you are so wrong. ;)

Jay is now holding on to things and cruising all over. He has really made us proud. I make all his food now and that seems to be going really well. And he's handling the regular milk just fine.

Today we had a visit with Dr. Nankin, Jay's pediatric opthamologist and he told us we don't need to come back for one year!! As of now the surgeries he had when he first came home have healed well and the doctor does not feel he needs anything extra right now (ie glasses, treatment etc)

MOTHER AND SON

My son
I am here
I cannot protect you
From the world.

My son
I am here
I can only love you
No matter what

My son
I am here
My love unconditional
On this you can rely

My son
I am here
To guide and to teach you
And now you must fly

My son
I am here
Life can be difficult
I hear your cry

My son
I am here
Changes are painful
Never forget who you are

My son
I am here
Maintain the faith
In yourself and in God

My son
I am here
Self acceptance is yours
Do not fear

My son
I am here

Rose Falcone
September 8, 1959 / Brooklyn, New York

Help!

2009-04-24T11:19:00.000-07:00

I was in the kitchen last week when I heard Jay squaking in the living room. It wasn't a cry or anything like that. This was a different sound. Turns out our little man had pulled himself to a standing position and didn't know what to do. He was stuck and was calling out for one of us to come help him. :)

And so goes the progress in the Schmetzer house. Jay is doing fantastic. This week we said goodbye to the formula and hello to regular milk. Jay's first real milk was Horizon Organic milk. And he seems to be liking it just fine. He also get's Yo Baby Organic Yogurt and he absolutely loves this stuff.

He's still having a few issues with swallowing anything chunky as far as solids go so I puree his food still. From what I understand this is a common preemie problem and something we will work on. Right now all that matters to me is he is getting what he needs to grow and be strong and healthy.

2009-03-21T11:13:00.001-07:00

Know what today is??

Jay has been officially home for one year!!! And a year ago yesterday was my due date so Jay is officially a corrected age of one year.

He has adjusted very well to his preschool. And he gets along so well with the other babies in the "baby room". The teachers tell me he is a very mellow child and not agressive. Rarely fussy unless he is hungry or needs a diaper change. He usually takes a short nap there. And when we get home in the afternoon he naps again. Then he's up until bedtime.

He scoots everywhere and he's very fast so you have to make sure you keep your eye on him! Pretty soon I think the coffee table is going to have to go because he can pull himself up on it and it's freaking both Joe and I out.

So far we don't notice any separation anxiety. But that might change as he gets older we'll have to wait and see. It's also become very clear in our house Daddy is all about fun time while Mommy is the mean one who gets stuck doing the things Jay hates like getting the boogies out of his little nose.

I can not believe our little miracle has been home for one year. Joe and I are so grateful to everyone for all the good wishes and blessings given to Jay. Every parent believes their child is special. We obviously do too. We truly believe our son is a born fighter. He fought to be here and fought to stay alive. And he's grown from a mere 1lb 7oz micro preemie into a 17lb vibrant and energetic little boy. Jayan you are our heart and we will do anything for you. We love you so much.

December 2007

Home March 2008

March 2009 Jay and Baby Emily

Dinner with our family friends

Can you see my teeth?

2009-02-21T10:12:00.001-08:00

My two bottom teeth :)

Jay and Pata

Jay's doggy from Uncle Yoga

Grandma Judy came to visit us

2009-02-17T09:06:00.000-08:00

This Valentine's Day was so much better than last years only because this year my littlest valentine was home with us. We had a a very nice day. I can't ask for anything more than being with my two boys.

As most of you know I have been working from home so I can be with Jay. Well the time came for me to go back to work in the office. But my wonderful boss is letting me work half days. So Jay in now in a preschool near my work from about 7:30am to noon everyday.

So far other than catching a cold he is doing fantastic. Even on his first day he didn't cry when I left him there. (But I did!) Jay is such an easy going..go with the flow child.

Although it was hard at first getting into the new morning routine it's actually working out really nicely. I love the people at Jay's school they are so good with the babies. It also helps that the owner is one of my Aunt's very good friends. :)

In just about a month Jay will be at one year corrected age. I can not believe it's been almost a year since he's been home with us. How time flies. Jay we treasure every minute we spend with you. You are our light.

Jay's on the Move!!

2009-01-12T13:21:00.000-08:00

Big Big news in our little world! Jay is crawling. He's been so close for so long and finally on Saturday night we witnessed it at his Uncle Dan's house. He still crawls on his arms more so than his hands because he is still developing upper body strength but for us this is a HUGE milestone.

Happy New Year!!!!

2009-01-08T08:45:00.001-08:00

Jay's Handsome Christmas Outfit :)

Aunty Laurina and Aunty Dharshi

The Schmetzer Boys on Christmas Eve

This was taken just after the clock stuck 12 on New Years

I can't believe it's 2009. This holiday season was so much better than last year. Especially having our little boy home with us. We spent lots of time with our families and our friends.

Jay is doing wondeful. He's a very happy child. He wakes up in the morning peeking through the bumper on his crib with a big smile on his face.

Happy First Birthday Jayan!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-12-07T19:58:00.000-08:00

Our Baby is ONE!!!! Y

I have so many emotions today I don't really know where to begin. Last year at this time our little child was in his incubator fighting for his life. He came into this world fighter. He makes me so proud and even a year later I can't believe this beautiful miracle came from inside of me.

Jay you make us so happy and we are honored to be your parents. You have no idea how much love and joy you bring into our home. You are surrounded by friends and family who care so much for you and love you so deeply. We can not imagine our life without you. We wake up in the morning to your sweet voice babbling in your crib and spend the day watching you smile and laugh and explore new things in amazement. And we put you to bed each night with kisses and wishes that you will have sweet dreams and good rest all so you can do it again the next day.

We love you Jayan.

Giving Thanks.....

2008-11-30T16:38:00.000-08:00

Our little family obviously has so much to be grateful for this year:

We thank God for our little miracle. He is and will always be the best thing Joe and I have ever done. We are thankful for each other and the love we share that has gotten us through such hard times. We are thankful to be employed and that I can still work from home so Jay doesn't risk getting RSV in daycare. We are thankful for the roof over our head, clothes we wear, and food on our table. We are thankful for our friends and family who have been there for us, cried with us, and laughed with us.

We are so very Thankful.

11 Months Old!!!!

2008-11-07T18:25:00.000-08:00

Bumbo Baby..these things are the best!! Thank you Aunty Kristen

Happy 11 months baby boy. I can't believe we are one month away from celebrating your 1st b'day!!

Today Jay got his first Synagis shot for the RSV season. He will get one each month until the season is over in April. He also got a flu shot.

Last night we got him a Bright Starts activity center that he can sit in, spin in, and even do a little jumping. I actually managed to put it together myself. :) We'll try that out tomorrow.

And now for some pics....

2008-11-05T12:57:00.000-08:00

Jay loves his play mat (from Aunty Dharshi and Anisha Acca) he cracks himself in the mirror. He likes baby rings to both play with and bite on. And his favorite toy??... the tags on anything. Go figure.

2008-11-02T13:15:00.000-08:00

We had a busy October and can't believe it's already November!!!

According to our new pediatric opthamologist Jay's eyes are now just fine and we will only have to visit him twice a year for check ups!!

Jay has occupational therapy once a week for one hour. His therapist's name is Tracy and Jay loves playing with her. She gives him a good work out and he is usual wiped out after one of their sessions.

Jay is almost 11 months old. and his corrected age is 7 months and a week or so. He gets all organic foods and so far he has eaten bananas, apples, pears, peas, carrots, and sweet potatatos. He loves sweet potato!! (like his mom)

It is RSV season again :( So Jay will have the monthly synagis shot to help keep his body strong but regardless we have to become strict again with where he goes and who holds him.

One of my favorite sounds in the world is the sound of Jay laughing. But Daddy seems to be the only one to really get him going. Those two are buddies and I can see it will soon be them against me. I will have to post some new pictures in a few days. :)

We love you so much Jay. I can't believe how much strength such a little person has given me.

Our First Family Road Trip!

2008-09-24T22:46:00.000-07:00

Jay and his Great GrandparentsAll of us and my little nephew Ryan

Showing off his new pendant from his Ammamah (Grandma) in Sri Lanka

By looking at this pic you can see who the boss is in our house!

We're home from San Francisco safe and sound. Jay has a small cold but we've already been to the doc and he told us his lungs are fine which is always the biggest concern for us!!

Had such a wonderful time in Frisco with the Grandparents, Joe's Brother, and the nephews. All the Schmetzer men and me :)

2008-09-19T10:34:00.000-07:00

Our little boy is 9 months old!!! He's doing very well. We've started rice cereal and some oatmeal cereal. But no veggies or fruits yet. Jay is starting occupational therapy once a week next week. It will be for one hour and will help give him a little boost with his cognitive skills. Our developmental nurse said Jay was really on the border for needing this but the extra help will probably help him catch up to his true age even faster. We take any services offered to us that benefit Jay :)

This weekend we are headed to San Francisco to visit Jay's Great Grandparents and celebrate his Great Grandma's 90th b'day!! It's our first family road trip.

His most recent pediatrician appt with Dr. Dev was last week and he was 13lbs 6 oz. And I'm sure he's gained since then.

He's truly an active child rolling around everywhere. I seriously feel he will crawl soon!!!

New Sounds

2008-08-19T13:58:00.000-07:00

Video from today. This is happy Jay and his new favorite thing to do.

Long Overdue Update and Pics!!

2008-08-19T09:48:00.000-07:00

Pata feeds Jayan a bottle :)

Family Time with Aunty Meena and Anisha Acca

At his first Concerts in the Park

Enjoying some Tummy Time

It's been too long since I've posted! But things have been really good around here.
Jay's Opthamologist has discharged him as a patient and now we will see a pediatric opthamologist 1 or 2 times a year just to make sure his eyes are progressing after the two surgeries.

We've started rice cereal. This is not a very neat process but it is so much fun. By the end of it Jay and I are both ready for a bath :) For now it's a once a day thing just to get him used to a spoon. Jay is off preemie formula (Enfamil EnfaCare) and is now on regular Enfamil.

And Jay is rolling around like a champ!! He's definitely a tummy sleeper nine out of ten times he's on his belly when he gets up in the morning. He sleeps through the night beautifully and I'm told I'm really lucky for this. He naps lightly through the day and is a sound sleeper at night.

At his last appointment he was 12lbs 2 oz. His pediatrician and the nurses who come home to see him are very pleased with his growth and progress. As are we. Development wise he seems to be right on track for his corrected age. And we hope that by the time he's about 3 or 4 he will be caught up to his true age.

Last weekend Jay spent the day with my Dad and Laurina so Joe and I could take a day trip with some friends to San Diego. They tell me he was a good baby and didn't cry other than a little spit up incident. Jay's truly a happy baby, he smiles so much and if you're lucky you'll get a little giggle here and there.

Next month we'll be driving to San Francisco so Jay can visit his Great Grandparents and help his Great Grandma Dorothy celebrate her 90th b'day! We are very excited about this and can't wait to get up there.

I still work at home and at night and I go into the office a few times a week while Joe watches Jay. This schedule has been so awesome for us and I am so grateful for this schedule. He brings us so much joy and happiness I can't even remember my life without him.

Some Video!

2008-07-14T12:30:00.000-07:00

This is the very first video of Jay taken the day he was born. This is the first thing I saw because I was unable to leave my bed.
I can not believe he was only 1lb 7oz. Truly Incredible.

And this is Jay now talking away to Joe

And one of me trying to get him to smile. Jay is truly so happy in the mornings. He's not like me that way at all. :)

A Year Ago Today........

2008-07-13T22:26:00.001-07:00

I got this.....
7/13/07

And then a few weeks after that I got to see my little miracle inside me... the very first picture of my little bean...

8/8/07

I loved him from the moment I knew he was inside of me. Not one day goes by that I don't think to myself how lucky I am to have this precious angel. He is the best gift that God could ever give me. We love you so much son. Y

7 months old!!!

2008-07-07T20:27:00.000-07:00

Jay is seven months old today!!! He babbles quite a bit now and gives us a lot of smiles.

2008-06-23T12:32:00.001-07:00

Smiley and content after a bath....

Jay loves his family time... Anisha Acca

Aunty Dharshi

Sweet Baby Boy Y

I'm way overdue for an update. Things have been going great around here for us. Jay is smiling like crazy and babbling a lot. He really makes us laugh. It's been so warm here so our walks are limited to the evenings and in the mornings if we're up and about.

We started watching some of the Baby Einstein DVD's. He seems to enjoy the colors and the music.

We have one more appointment with the ophtamologist in July. If that goes as well as our last one we will not have to see him anymore!! Instead Jay will check in with a pediatric opthamologist just to make sure everything is developing as it should.

It was wonderful celebrating Father's Day with Joe for the first time and with my Dad as a first time Grandpa. We had my Dad and Laurina, Joe's Dad and Joe's brother and his kids over for brunch. It was a very nice relaxing day. Jay bought his Daddy new sandals for he pool. :)

6 Months Old

2008-06-08T15:43:00.000-07:00

Our little miracle is six months old and has been home for 11 weeks. We had a pediatrician appointment on Friday and he weighs exactly 10 pounds! I can tell because that car seat carrier is getting heavier and heavier. I take advantage of Daddy any time he's around to carry it. :)

Jay is also responding to us when we talk to him with his own babble. I have to get video of this but i'st awesome!! Joe can really get him to get going (just like the smiles) Joe comes home from work and chats with Jay. I'm convinced he's telling his Dad what I did and did not do for him all day.

For the most part he is truly a happy baby. I'm being strict starting the rice cereal until he is 4 months corrected. So at the end of this month I'll start thinking about it. I'm just worried about food allergies etc. So for now he takes 3.5-4 oz of formula at each feeding. Kind of amazing to think he started with just 1 ml (cc)

Yesterday for his birthday my Dad and I took him to the temple and then I came home and scrapbooked his entire NICU stay. As I looked at the pictures I couldn't help but tear up. His progress is so remarkable. Some people may just say we're lucky I say God is good.

2008-05-31T00:15:00.000-07:00

Jay's been home for 10 weeks! And he's 25 weeks old. That means he's been in the outside world for as long as he was in my tummy. I can't believe how fast the time goes by.

We visited the opthamologist this week and his eyes are healing well from the laser surgeries. In fact he sees like any other baby at his corrected age. So we are all very happy to hear this!!

Other than that he's getting really curious about his surroundings and makes wonderful eye contact while you're holding him. Giving him a bottle and having him stare up at you is the most wonderful warm fuzzy feeling :)

If I have any complaints it's that he only smiles for Joe and my Dad. What's with the guy thing?

Naughty little monkey he is! We love you so much Jayan!!! Y

NINE POUNDS!!!

2008-05-22T11:56:00.000-07:00

Jay is right at nine pounds. I can't believe it. He's got a great appetite and is sleeping well at night. Joe got him to smile a few days ago but we haven't seen one since. Here's a little video of Daddy trying very hard yesterday. Comedy I tell you. The two of them :)

Mother's Day

2008-05-13T09:32:00.000-07:00

Finally big enough for the Baby Bjorn carrier

(thank you Grandma Judy and Pam!!)

Just hanging out at home....
Aunty Tasha's the best!!!!

I couldn't have asked for a better first Mother's Day. I woke up that morning thinking..wow I can celebrate this day today. Something I've longed to do for such a long time.
I got a very witty card from my son written by Joe and a very sweet card from Joe also. And my gift?? A ticket to see Neil Diamond. (anyone who knows me knows I love him!!) This will be my fourth show.

We spent the day visiting with my Dad and then just taking it really easy. For me everyday is mother's day. I feel honored and so lucky to be the mom of such a beautiful child.

This is the first week since Jay came home that we do not have one doctor appointment!!! I'm enjoying that and I'm sure he is too. Developmentally he's doing so well. Though he's still a little bobble head (Joe's term) he lifts his head and holds it for quite some time. While doing tummy time he can lift himself up and over the prop pillow! And his appetite has been fantastic. Almost every night he sleeps for a five hour stretch. However when he wakes up you better have that bottle ready or he will let you have it. :)

Jay has been home for 7 and a half weeks which is his corrected age. I can't believe it's already been that long. His true age is 22 and half weeks. He makes us laugh everyday. I was uploading some pictures the other day and I found his birth pics and I just can't believe the transformation.
We love you so much son.

2008-05-05T14:16:00.001-07:00

Pata (Grandpa) and Jay

Happy Bath Time

2008-04-27T12:02:00.000-07:00

For the first time ever we got through Jay's whole bath without him shedding one tear. He was happy and content through the whole ordeal. So much so I had to yell to Joe to grab the camera so I could get some pics.

Other than the spit up/reflux he's got going on he's doing well. We had a home nurse visit on Friday and she was very happy with Jay's development and weight gain. This coming week we have a follow up with the opthamologist and a pediatrician appointment. So we'll have some busy days ahead.

2008-04-24T10:27:00.000-07:00

We are all settled in our new place while the house is getting fixed. Jay's sitting here next to me having some tummy time kicking away and getting some exercise. He lifts his head like a champ and can turn it from side to side while on his tummy. *proud*

Yesterday he had laser surgery on his left eye. Hopefully this will be the end of the surgeries. I feel so bad but I know it's for the best.

2008-04-21T11:30:00.000-07:00

We've had a few small changes in our world. We had an outside fire that damaged mostly the exterior of the back of our house. But because of the the smoke we can't stay in the house. While the house is being fixed our insurance company is putting us up in an apartment here in Irvine.

We are all ok. And that's all that matters to us. We hope it won't be long until we're back home.

Jay's doing great. He's passed the 7 lb mark! And he takes up to 80 cc's now that's about 2 and 1/3 oz. He got his final RSV shot for the season and the rest of his vaccinations.

Joe was off all of last week and it was really nice having him home. Simple things like going to Target as a family just made me happy. He's getting really good with Jay and I love watching them bond. I can't express the love I feel in my heart when I see the two of them together.

2008-04-09T15:15:00.000-07:00

Today at the pediatrician Jay weighed 6 pounds 5 oz. He's gaining well and is for the most part a pretty happy baby.

Yesterday they decided to preform a small laser surgery on his right eye. Poor little man. I could hear him screaming from where I was in the waiting room. Broke my heart. The opthamologist says Jay's vision should have no problems. I'm so glad they can catch these things so early!

When he's up just looking around he'll coo a little now and it's music to my ears. We stopped using the bottles the hospital gave us and moved on to the Dr. Browns bottles and he seems to be doing well with the regular nipple. (we were using the slow flow nipple because of Jay's reflux)

I bought a sleep positioner for Jay to sleep in and it's working out great.

We're out of the preemie diapers today and moved on to Newborn. And some of his preemie clothes are getting tight on him. :)

2008-04-01T13:17:00.000-07:00

The couch is my favorite
And my mom's lap

I suck my thumb :)

We are getting into our own little routine at home. Jay's doing great on his feedings and takes a full 2 oz every 3-4 hours. We've had two appointments with the opthamologist (who ironically is an old classmate of mine from high school) His eyes have shown no change since last week but there seems to be some signs of ROP ( Retinopathy of Prematurity). We have one more appointment on Thursday if there is no change or if it seems to have deteriorated a little there will be a small laser surgery done on his right eye. I'm hoping of course that this will not be necessary.

Tomorrow we have another appointment with Dr. Dev Jay's pediatrician. He has neonatal experience and also happens to be a friend of my Dad's. He calls to check on Jay almost daily. I don't think we could have asked for a better doctor.

Jay's a good sleeper but NOT in his bassinet. He likes knowing I'm next to him. So we're buying a cosleeping gadget this weekend for him.

Joe painted his room this last weekend and we are slowly getting it ready for him. I'm really happy with how it looks.

He's still such a miracle to all of us.

2008-03-26T09:34:00.000-07:00

Well we're surviving. Who knew you could have so much energy and not sleep??

I'm trying to keep Jay on the same three hour schedule he was on when he was in the NICU. Sometimes we get off track a little but for the most part he's doing great. He's almost up to 2oz in his bottle and at his first pediatrician's visit on Monday he was already 5 pounds 4 oz!!

I'm sorry for takng so long to get back in here!!!!

We're Home!!!

2008-03-22T09:40:00.000-07:00

We've survived our first night. And we're tired. :) All is good in our world. Pics later I promise!!

SUPER AMAZING WONDERFUL NEWS!!!!!!!

2008-03-19T23:35:00.000-07:00

Jayan will be home by Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We did the car seat challenge tonight. Jay only had to sit in is for a half hour but I left about an hour later and he was sleeping away in his car seat. I also learned how to draw his medicine and vitamins in the syringes so I can add them to his milk.

We're in shock. My due date was tomorrow. He's coming home one day after that. I think he's proven himself to be quite a fighter. As my sister in law says he's truly our little champ.

God is so great. Thank you to all of you for your continued prayers. I don't know where we'd be without you.

2008-03-19T10:15:00.000-07:00

Early this morning they pulled the core pack out of Jay's nose. He's taking 8 bottles a day with no issues!! It also looks like the only meds he'll come home on are vitamins and his jaundice medication to lower his bili level!

This means that our little boy will be home sometime next week!!! It's almost unreal. It will be a whole new routine now. Juggling work, the hospital, and home has been hectic but something I've become used to.

I look forward to being able to hold my son anytime I feel like it. I will get some pics tonight of his face free from anything!

His weight last night was 2040 grams which is just a bit shy of four and a half pounds or 4 pounds 7+ ounces.

2008-03-17T15:00:00.000-07:00

Jay had a very social weekend starting on Friday night. Aunty Tasha visited, held him for about 2 hours and decided she wasn't going to offer him to anyone else. :)

On Saturday they decided to change his bottle feeding schedule to two bottle feeds, then the core pack, then two bottle feeds again etc etc. He's doing great on the feedings and pretty much always takes the whole bottle now.

On Sunday we had a family friend visit us and then my Dad and Laurina in the evening. At the 9pm feeding I gave Jay his bottle without any added oxygen and he did fantastic!!! He was a little grumpy after that but I don't know if it's any correlation to him working harder.

Tomorrow my Dad, Joe, and I are taking an infant CPR class and then Joe and I are taking a car seat class.

He is so close to coming home. I can not wait!!! We love you so much Jay you have no idea how much strength you bring us.

14 Weeks Old!

2008-03-14T10:34:00.000-07:00

Last night my Dad and Laurina got to witness Jayan and all his might when he's hungry. I did get to give him his bottle at 8:30 and he did pretty well and left only a little bit that they gave him later through his core pack.

As far as medications he's been taken off quite a few and now just has Reglan (for reflux), Aldactazide (for his bilirubin level-jaundice), and Caffine. This means less for us to worry about when he comes home.

I love giving him the Reglan because apparently it's sweet and he loves it. I put the syringe in the corner of his cheek and give it to him a little at time. He smacks his lips and thoroughly enjoys it like a treat!

2008-03-13T11:23:00.000-07:00

I've seriously not been good about posting regularly. Mostly because the only thing we're really working on right now is the little man taking his bottle feedings. He does well but still has a few issues. He needs to get to 8 a day with no issues. But we are getting there.

Have I mentioned that Jay can seriously make some noise when he's mad? It amazes me what comes out of that little body. Last night I could not calm him down. I handed him to Joe and he settled down almost immediately. Apparently he doesn't know who's changing his poopy diapers. :)

I forgot to mention that on Friday afternoon Jay's Aunty Kristen and Grandma Marion came to vist. And on Saturday Uncle Tom and Aunt Nina came to see him also. I have pics but I need to upload them from the camera.

As of last night Jay is at 1895 grams which is about 4.2 lbs our next goal is 2250 grams which is almost 5 pounds.

2008-03-10T08:32:00.001-07:00

Jay's been officially moved to the big kids "growing room". I love it in there it's calm and and doesn't seem like a hospital. He seems to be doing great and probably wonders why there is so little noise. He's got a really nice spot with a window behind him.

Not that we didn't already know this... but JAY IS SO VERY LOVED by all of our friends and family. He is a lucky boy. As are Joe and I. From deep inside our hearts we thank you.

2008-03-07T11:35:00.000-08:00

Jay is doing fantastic in the crib and keeping his temperature just fine. Yesterday he weighed 1830 grams... we've hit 4 pounds!!! He's now getting a bottle at 3pm and 3am. He's still trying to master it. The doctors think he will be home in two to three weeks. I am beyond thrilled to hear this. Up until now I have never asked when Jay could come home. I never wanted to be dissapointed. When he was born they told me it could be as late as May so I was mentally prepared for that. It looks like he will be coming home around his due date after all.

We have to watch his hands carefully because our little fighter is just about ready to pull his core pack (feeding tube) out.

2008-03-05T11:07:00.000-08:00

We're in the big boy crib and Jay's holding his temperature just fine. He was moved into a crib on Monday. That night Joe and I watched a RSV video and a CPR video while we held Jay.

Last night was Grandpa Louis' b'day. (Joe's Dad) so the three of us went to see Jay together. He has so many funny facial expressions he truly makes us laugh. For the most part Jay's a pretty mellow baby but when he is upset he will let you know. For such a tiny little fellow he can be quite loud. :) Like any baby he gets grumpy for a dirty diaper and doesn't enjoy being changed. His heart rate does tend to go up because he's crying but I suppose all babies do this. When you've watched monitors for 89 days you just can't break the habit.

The main focus right now is bottle feeding. Other than that he's moving right along. He weighs 1790 grams...that's 3.94 pounds. We are so close to four pounds.

BIG BIG NEWS!!!!

2008-03-03T12:09:00.000-08:00

Jay is off oxygen!!!!!!!!!!! Our baby boy is breathing on his own and doing fantastic! They do put the cannula in to give him a little boost while he takes a bottle but other than that his little face is free of everything except the feeding tube.

He is so amazing and strong. God is so great!!!

On Saturday Jay got a visit from my sister in law and on Sunday from Tasha. So he was a very lucky boy getting to see two of his Aunts this weekend.

I'll take some pictures later of him without the nansal cannula I promise!

12 Weeks Old....

2008-02-29T23:24:00.000-08:00

Could there be a prouder Grandpa in this world??

Jay is at 1/2 a Liter on his nasal cannula and sits for most of the day at room air. He does seem to need a little bump up when he's taking a bottle or digesting. But other than that he's doing just fine.

He just needs to grow and gain weight. Once he does this he should be able to hold his temperature better. He's getting there though.

2008-02-28T10:41:00.000-08:00

Jay had quite the day yesterday. First of all he took his whole feeding of almost an ounce by bottle!!! He was so tired after that he just slept but there was no spitting up.

And then last night the little man had his very first tub bath. He did so well. He cried when we first put him in but after that he was so relaxed and happy. I'm sure it must have felt good.

Heather, one of his primary nurses, told me not to be surprised if he gets moved to the big kids room in the back soon. I found out that all his primary nurses will follow him back there so as long as they are there they will have him. I am so grateful for that. For some lucky reason Jay has four wonderful nurses that signed up for him. Two in the day and two at night. In addition to taking care of our son they give me so much comfort and peace of mind. I will be forever grateful to them for the rest of my life.

Relaxing in the big boy tub

We have to wash the back too (he was so relaxed he was
falling asleep)

This is what Jay thinks about taking his medicine :)

The feet on his sleeper last night. Y

2008-02-26T11:56:00.000-08:00

Today is Jayan's last day on the antibiotic (vencomyacin). With that he'll hopefully be IV free up to his leaving the hospital. IV's are just an extra way to get an infection so they are pleased he can now take his meds orally.

Jay's weight last night was 1660 grams. That's 1010 grams more than he weighed when he was born. I am eager for him to get to 4 pounds. This will be about 1800 grams.

After he gets the IV out Jay will be getting his first tub bath. And there is also talk about getting him ready to move to the "big kids" room. This is where the babies go to grow. Most of their issues have been worked out.

Gayatri Mantra:
As many of you know when I was pregnant I was in and out of the ER and hospital for my preeclampsia complications. There was this chant that I was taught as a child and I have sung it whenever I was nervous about something. So Jay must have heard it a lot in my belly. Last night while he was in my arms I said it over and over again in a very soft voice. He seemed really peaceful.

"Aum Bhoor Bhuwah Swaha,

Tat Savitur Varenyam,

Bhargo Devasaya Dheemahi,

Dhiyo Yo Naha Prachodayat"

Translation:
"O God, Thou art the giver of life, the remover of pain and sorrow, the bestower of happiness; O Creator of the Universe, may we receive Thy supreme, sin destroying light; may Thou guide our intellect in the right direction."

Jayan is truly a gift from God to us.

2008-02-25T09:53:00.000-08:00

Sorry for not getting in here all weekend. It was a busy one. Jay is doing just fine. The one change they have made was reducing his calories a little bit. I think his little body couldn't digest what they were trying to give him so he'd spit up just a little after his feedings. But since the new change, he's been just fine. He gets a dose of vencomyacin 3 times a day for his infection from the Broviac.

He's been weaned down to 1L on the nasal cannula!

On most of the visits this weekend he was awake and alert. Yesterday Joe and I had a really nice visit.

We're hearing words like discharge... it's scary and exciting all at the same time. It won't be for at least another month I'm sure. Jay wasn't due until March 20th. If we take him home somewhere around then I'll be happy.

11 Weeks Old

2008-02-22T00:31:00.000-08:00

Jay is 36 weeks gestation. I can't help but wonder what my belly would look like.
He got a bath tonight and his broviac line was also removed. He was so exhausted after his bath I held him and he slept so peacefully. He is still getting 28cc's every 3 hours and is at 1.5L on the nasal cannula. The picture above was taken right after his bath. He amazes me everyday.

We love you so much Jayan.

2008-02-20T18:12:00.000-08:00

Jayan's still at room air but he was moved back to 2L instead of the 1.5L he was at on Monday. I can live with that. He took 14 cc's by bottle today and did fantastic! When I saw him this afternoon he was getting grumpy because it was getting close to his feeding time. :) He's turning into a regular little baby.

He is getting a dose of antibiotics because he has a small infection but other than that he's doing fantastic! *proud*

Tonight we're going to watch a video on RSV at the hospital during the visit.

2008-02-19T10:07:00.000-08:00

When I went to see Jay yesterday afternoon his nurse had a wonderful surprise for me. A photo of my sweet baby boy drinking from his second bottle feeding. (His first was Friday)
Joe's already claimed it for his desk at work.

Last night while being held he was on room air (21%) this is a first for him since being on the cannula. They also lowered it from 1.5L down to 1L. He gained two more ounces, so he is now 3.6 pounds. And he is up to 28 cc's every 3 hours. That is almost one ounce!

His nurse also gave him two of his medications orally (they actually taste decent) He took them like a champ. And then sucked happily on his pacifier.

2008-02-18T09:52:00.000-08:00

Yesterday when I went to visit Jay in the afternoon he was fast alseep. I woke him up for his diaper change and cares. This never makes him happy but he usually settles right back down after being swaddled back and cozy.

Kristen came to see him yesterday and he was wide awake when she showed up. Jay slept peacefully while we chatted.

Last night Joe and I went and Joe held Jay while I read next to them. He was getting his feeding at the time. Jay is up to 26cc's every 3 hours!

They've mentioned they'd like us to start watching some videos to prepare us for Jay coming home. (CPR, RSV etc.) So that will all be happening in the next few weeks. He still has spells here and there and needs to gain weight so that's what we're focussing on now. Yesterday's weight was 3.4 pounds. We're getting there.

2008-02-16T17:56:00.000-08:00

So on Friday he was wide awake around his feeding time so they decided to try a bottle with just 5 cc's of milk and he did fantastic!! They will try again on Monday.

Today he's very peaceful and resting happily. He is not connected to any IV's and they are even thinking about taking out the Broviac Line this week!!

2008-02-14T22:54:00.000-08:00

Jay's third eye exam shows no change from the last one. This is very good news. But the big news for tonight is that they are going to start bottle feeding him a small amount of milk on Monday to see how he tolerates it. He's now up to 18 cc's of milk every three hours.

We love days like this.

2008-02-14T10:31:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day Baby Boy. We love you so much!!!

Jay is doing wonderful. The developmental therapist I met yesterday taught me to do a few exercises with him. She said he's coming along well.

His feeding are up to 17.5 cc's every three hours. This is with formula added to the milk for extra calories. And the great news is that he's tolerating it with no tummy trouble. The doctors and nurses say he should really start gaining weight now.

I also talked to Dr. Dar yesterday and he said that they are so happy with his progress and he's feeling good about Jay just focussing on getting bigger and growing. (then he knocked on wood) :)

Jay got Valentine's Day cards from his mom and dad and from Grandma Judy Y

2008-02-13T10:04:00.000-08:00

Last night my Dad came to visit. He's been down with a cold and hadn't seen Jayan in a while so I'm glad he could come visit.

Jay's bodily functions are definitely working. He had a nice poopy diaper for me when I got there for his cares. I also put his first sleeper on him (full body suit with the feet) It's a little big on him but Kristin the day nurse suggested it to help keep him warm. They are trying to get him to hold his temperature so he can move to a big boy bed. Right now he is only at 25% heat so he's on his way.

This afternoon he has an appointment with the developmental therapist. I will be there for that and I am keen to hear what they have to say. His first one was one Tuesday and from what I hear they are quite pleased with where he is developmentally. Tomorrow he has his third eye exam.

2008-02-12T18:58:00.000-08:00

When I went to see Jay this afternoon he was wide awake and very alert. I was told that yesterday they started "physical" therapy with him. It's to check his motor skills and reflexes. They say he's fine and seems to be right on target for where he is.

They lowered his nasal cannula from 2 liters to 1.5 liters. Another step forward. They've also started adding fortifier to my milk again to up his calories. I'm keen to know if he's tolerating that I'll find out when I go back tonight.

Today is a big day in my preemie world. My friend Niki and her husband Brian are taking home their beautiful baby girl Sydney. She was born t 26 weeks gestation and she is an amazing little girl. I'm so proud of all three of them.

2008-02-11T23:24:00.000-08:00

So far so good on the cannula. I held him for about two hours tonight. And he did just fine. They were doing a blood gas only after I left so I'll call later and see how it went.

Yesterday one of Jay's nurses asked me if we started buying anything for him. We honestly haven't. She said we should start because if he keeps going in the direction he is he could be home around his due date!!

So we're going to start getting his room ready!!

2008-02-10T16:32:00.000-08:00

Jay's back on the nasal cannula today. We had a great visit with him this afternoon. He has a nice restful day ahead of him. No tests other than a blood gas later tonight. He makes us so proud.

Video of Jay and Daddy

2008-02-09T23:39:00.000-08:00

I visited Jay yesterday in the afternoon and the evening but didn't have a chance to get on here. He was doing well. He had his immunization shots yesterday so I didn't hold him because I didn't want to disturb him. They did give him a tiny bit of tylenol just to help with the pain from the shots.

Tonight I held him for about two hours. At one point he was awake and looking right at me. He's so sweet. I sang him a few nursery rhymes and he seemed to sleep pretty peacefully. Tonight he got a new bed. Since he doesn't need humidity anymore he's in an isolette that's more for mature preemies. It also doesn't have the weigh feature, so for his nightly weight check he will be put on the bigger baby scale. The next step is a crib and he just needs to hold his own body temperature to move into that. He already seems to be doing just fine at that.

2008-02-07T23:26:00.000-08:00

Jay's having a good night tonight. I held him for a nice long time and I read a Dr. Seuss book to him. It's actually a book I used to read to him when he was in my tummy. Oh Baby the Places You'll Go (A book to be read in utero) :) Tasha and I bought it when I was about 8 weeks pregnant.

I think he enjoyed it. I know he's not in utero anymore but I figured he might recognize it.

I had a long chat with Dr. Dar one of his attending doctors. He said they are really pleased with Jay's progress and that the fluid retention doesn't have him worried right now. He said his liver and kidneys are still growing and they feel this is something that will be corrected on it's own.

2008-02-07T10:34:00.000-08:00

Jayan is still on the CPAP but doing really well. He's going to move back to the nasal cannula on his own terms. Which is fine by me beause I'd rather him go back on and stay on. He's still got some extra fluid in him and they think that could be the reason he's just not ready to go back on the nasal cannula. No matter what I'm sure he's still happy to have the tube out of his throat from the ventilator.

Last night I helped give him a bath. Then I held him for a little bit. I hadn't held him in so long. I love just looking at his face. I am still so amazed this precious angel came out of my tummy. He slept the whole time. I think his little bath wore him out.

I guess he's also about ready for some of his immunization shots so I signed the consent for that yesterday also. He's such a big boy. We love you so much Jay.

2008-02-05T22:56:00.000-08:00

I think Jay will be back on the nasal cannula tomorrow. He's doing great on the CPAP sitting on room air with no back up rate. His weight tonight was 1450 grams that's about 3.2 pounds. He's 15.3 inches long. Feeds are going well also.

I know I haven't taken pictures in a while so I got some today. :)

These are Jayan's hand me down NICU clothes from Heather and her son Connor. Y

2008-02-05T18:36:00.000-08:00

We're back on the CPAP!!!! Jay got extubated at 11:00 am this morning. I saw him at 4:30pm and he looked great. And so happy to be off the ventilator. We have one more step to get back to the nasal cannula but this is definitely a step in the right direction.

I'm hoping he's still doing well by the time I get back there tonight because I'd really like to hold him. I haven't gotten to since Thursday.

2008-02-04T22:30:00.001-08:00

Jay has still not been extubated but we are hoping he will be by tomorrow morning. He's at room air now and they are just working on getting his rate and pressure down.

His feedings have been restarted and so far he is doing well on that.
Tonight he was very peaceful and slept the whole time I was there.

I forgot to mention that on Friday he got a visit from his Aunt Dharshi and from Laurina. :)

2008-02-02T10:21:00.000-08:00

Jay did really well through the surgery. It took only about 20 minutes and he's back in his little bed resting peacefully.

Since he's stable they did the surgery at St. Joseph's the main hospital next to CHOC. I was with him the whole way. He didn't even wake up while they wheeled him over there.

One of his main nurses has him today and I'm so grateful for that because she knows him so well. He's still intubated from the surgery but we're hoping he'll be extubated soon.

Thank you for all your prayers.

8 Weeks Old!!!!

2008-02-01T17:21:00.000-08:00

I can't believe the little man has been in this world for 8 weeks. He's at 33 weeks gestation.

This afternoon he had a visit from the opthamologist. I spoke to him while I was there this afternoon and he said that the baby looks really good for his age. One of his eyes show a slight change from two weeks ago but he said it's nothing to be concerned about right now. So that's good news.

The surgery to put in the Broviac Line has been scheduled for tomorrow at 7:30am we have to be there at 6:30am.

I'll be going back tonight to hold Jay. And I'll post tomorrow to let everyone know how things go.
Thank you for keeping Jay in your prayers.

2008-01-31T23:52:00.000-08:00

So far the plan is to put Jay on the broviac line tomorrow. I'm feeling better about it because they feel that he will not be intubated long. It should take no longer than 12-15 minutes and is a common procedure with preemies.

This afternoon Sharon came to visit Jay and sat with us while I held him. It was a nice visit and I enjoyed catching up with her.

Tonight I helped give him a bath and then held him for about one and a half hours. He weighs 1320 grams tonight or about 2 pounds 14 oz. Just 2 oz away from 3 pounds! He's come a long way from the 650 grams he weighed when he was born.

2008-01-31T11:50:00.001-08:00

I just called to check on Jay but they haven't done rounds yet. So I'll call a little later. The nurse said he's doing fine. A little bloated again despite a spot treatment of lasix. I wish they knew what was causing this. She said this excess fluid could be making it harder for him to breathe too.

We'll see what the docs say when they round. I expressed my dislike about the broviac but also told them I want what's best for Jay.

My Dad sent this to me today and it really hit home:

ONE PARAGRAPH THAT EXPLAINS LIFE!

Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS which he got due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983. From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed: "Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"?

To this Arthur Ashe replied: "The world over -- 50 million children start playing tennis, 5 million learn to play tennis, 500,000 learn professional tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the grand slam, 50 reach Wimbledon, 4 to semi final, 2 to the finals, when I was holding a cup I never asked GOD 'Why me?'. And today in pain I should not be asking GOD 'Why me?' "

"Happiness keeps you Sweet, Trials keep you Strong, Sorrow keeps you Human, Failure keeps you humble and Success keeps you glowing, but only Faith & Attitude Keeps you going..."

2008-01-30T22:40:00.001-08:00

Tonight Joe and I took his Dad (Grandpa Louis) to see Jayan. I'm glad he got to see the baby.

They tried again to get a picc line in Jay (since they slowed his feeds down he needs an IV back in). The poor guy is just out of spots so they may have to put in a Broviac Line. This is a central line that will be a lot easier and they won't have to poke him as much. There's one upsetting part of this and that is he will have to go back on the ventilator to have this put in. This is because he will be sedated as it's considered a surgical procedure. This isn't for sure yet but they are talking about it.

If he ends up going back on the ventilator it should only be for a short time as he's doing ok on the nasal cannula and should wean back to that fast.

Another day in the NICU another day on the rollercoaster but we're getting there.

2008-01-29T22:46:00.001-08:00

The ultrasound on Jay's kidneys came back showing no abnormalities. We're super happy about that. He's still a little bloated but they are just going keep an eye on him. Other than that he seems to be doing fine.

His weight is up to 1220 grams (2.6 pounds) I think some of this is fluid he's retaining so he might go down some.

2008-01-28T23:56:00.000-08:00

I finally got a picture of Jayan and his new clothes. This is one of my favorite tops because it's bright and colorful. He's doing well. A few desats on the nasal cannula and a brady here and there but for the most part doing well.

So this is what the nasal cannula looks like. It must feel so much better than the ventilator and the CPAP.

He also had an ultrasound done on his kidneys today to make sure they look good. The results haven't come back yet but we should know tomorrow for sure how things look. I held him again for about an hour and a half.

For those of you that have seen Zoolander this picture had "bluesteel" written all over it. :)

2008-01-27T23:45:00.000-08:00

When we got to the hospital this afternoon we had a wonderful surprise waiting for us. Our little man is on the nasal cannula. They skipped sprinting him on it from the CPAP because he did so well the few hours he had it on so they just kept it on him. He seems to be doing wonderful so far.

When I went back tonight I didn't kanagaroo with him. I actually held him in my arms so I could look at his sweet face the whole time. I hope he'll get through the night ok on the nasal cannula. This is a huge step in his lung development. We are so proud of him. We love you so much Jay.

2008-01-26T17:00:00.000-08:00

Last night I held Jay for about 2 hours and this afternoon for about an hour and a half. It's truly the best part of my day. He's doing so well on the CPAP that they might start "sprinting" him on the Nasal Cannula. This is a device the next step up from the CPAP that will deliver extra oxygen to the baby as he needs it.

He's still on 21% most of the time on the CPAP with a rate of 5. He's doing really well.

His normal feeds will resume this week. The tests they've done for medical NEC are all coming back negative and I'm so grateful for that.

Here are a few pictures from last night of the baby without the CPAP on (he was breathing on his own)

7 weeks old!

2008-01-24T23:14:00.000-08:00

Tonight I put on one of Jayan's new little shirts. He looked so sweet and like such a big boy. I held him for about an hour and a half and he slept peacefuly through it. His hair is getting longer and I can see more and more features as the days go by. His cheeks were red and full of color.

He's still doing well on his breathing. Not one desat the whole time I was there. They are still watching his feeds very closely. Tomorrow he's got another xray of his tummy. Once NEC (necrotizing enterocolitis) is ruled out completely they can resume his normal feed schedule.

The humidity in his isolet has been turned off because he's now at 32 weeks gestation and he doesn't need it anymore.

There's a small tiny baby in the room we're in now. He looks like he's about the size Jay was when he was born. I know we still have a long road ahead of us but I realize how for we have come in almost 7 weeks.

2008-01-23T23:09:00.000-08:00

Well the little guy ended up having to get IV's back in because he needed some blood. I had expected this would happen so I wasn't too upset. He needs what he needs.

They are also watching his tummy via xray because of some digestion issues he's been having. So far the doctors have told me it's just precautionary.

His breathing has been really good. I hope he keeps this up. He's consistently in the low 20's on his CPAP which is fantastic for him.

Right now my main focus is that he gets his nutrition and starts to gain more weight.

I forgot to mention that on Sunday night he got his first "bath". It was more of a sponge bath but he got all cleaned up from head to toe :) He's also big enough now to start wearing some clothes. I ordered a few NICU friendly items from a website I found. I just need to wash them and take them in tomorrow. Jay's also lucky enough to be receiving some hand me downs from another little boy who was in the NICU named Connor. His mom is friends with a friend of mine and she was nice enough to offer to send them to me. He's gotten some wonderful gifts and one of these days I need to take pictures and post them on here.

2008-01-22T09:39:00.000-08:00

Last night I got to hold Jay for about two hours. He slept the whole time and sat at 21% (room air) for pretty much most of it. He has no IV's right now!!! Hopefully he can stay that way for a while. I know he might need something along the way but for now I'm just enjoying him being free from needles and being poked.

The fact that he's doing so well on the CPAP means that his lungs are truly improving. He's getting stronger everyday. There are moments when he gets lazy still but the nurse last night told me that he's still young and that is common.

They've been adding EnfaCare to his milk and he is now tolerating it. So I hope he will start to gain some weight now. He working harder on the CPAP so he's burning more calories and he's not getting the TPN through IV so he dependent on this milk and EnfaCare to gain.

2008-01-21T19:48:00.000-08:00

Jayan is continuing to amaze me. When I got to the hospital this afternoon his oxygen rate was turned up a little so I asked if he'd been having some spells. They told me that they have discontinued his back up rate so they'd turned him up just to be on the safe side. While I was there he bounced around between 25% and 21%. I'm so proud of him.

There was a class tonight for NICU parents so I attended it. It was pretty informitive but mostly it was just nice being able to sit and talk to other parents who are going through what I am.

2008-01-20T19:42:00.000-08:00

Our Family :)

So far so good on the CPAP. He does have some desats but he's maintaining great rates and his blood gasses have been coming out good. He's at 13.4 cc's now and they are trying a different fortifier to add to the milk to give him extra calories.

2008-01-19T01:44:00.000-08:00

Jay's doing well so far on the CPAP. They say the EKG looks good but his heart rate was all over the place. Yet he was at 21% which is room air and his stats were perfect for the CPAP. Go figure. They are doing a blood panel at 3am this morning to see if maybe he just needs more calcium or potassium. I hope it's something simple like that.

Jay got moved into bigger diapers today too. He had a lot done for his big 6 week b'day! His gestational age is 31 weeks.

Since he was so used to having the tube he got into the habit of sucking on it. So he got a little pacifier today and he used it like a pro. I took a video of that. You can see the CPAP in the video. It covers his nose and head and looks pretty constrictive but it's truly got to feel better than having that tube down his throat. They were suctioning his nose and I got a picture of his whole face. This is the first time I've gotten to see him without all of the gadgets. I also heard him cry tonight. Jay has the sweetest little cry. It's the first time I heard him since the day he was born when I heard a little something when they took him away to the NICU. All this time we couldn't hear him because of the tube. Now he can make all the noise he wants to.

Video of Pacifier

Video of CPAP

BIG YAWN!!!